Ben's Blog: A SERPENT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A SERPENT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD

This story is not about my home church, Rose Hill Methodist, but a similar church with which I am familiar. The couple, friends of mine for over 70 years, will be referred to as Mr. and Mrs. C. They so enjoyed telling me this story that I wanted to share it with you.

Mr. and Mrs. C had a son and daughter-in-law and grandchildren living about three hours north of their home, and they planned to visit them this particular Sunday. The couple got up earlier than usual, did their chores and drove to meet the children at their church. They arrived shortly after the service had started and found a place to sit close to the front.

Mr. C was soon lulled to sleep by the hum of the air conditioner and the "swish-swish" of the ceiling fans. Mrs. C sat with her hands folded in her lap, holding her rather large black purse. Rural ladies don't change purses with the season, only when the old purse is worn out. Mrs. C's purse had several compartments--the larger one probably contained her billfold, checkbook, several pens and pencils, scratch pad, grocery list and several receipts, dry cleaning tickets, coupons for groceries, compact, mirror, lipstick, aspirin, several bottles of medicine for her husband, charge cards, drivers license, an unmailed letter, a book of stamps, a button from her husband's coat sleeve, a small kit with needles and thread, rubber bands, paper clips, safety pins, loose change, a package of flower seeds and other items. (Men, if you don't believe this--investigate your wife's purse when she isn't looking.)

Mrs. C had napped on the drive up and looked around as she listened to the service. Behind the pulpit was a picture of Christ praying in the garden. On the Communion table were two arrangements of fresh flowers. There were also fresh flowers on the organ and piano, not flower shop flowers but flowers that had been cut that morning by work-hardened hands. The men seated around Mrs. C had sunburned faces and necks but white foreheads that had been protected by a cap or hat, and the ladies had tanned shoulders from working and not from lounging around a swimming pool.

When the pastor had finished his sermon, the ushers came forward to take up the offering. Mrs. C opened her purse a little so no one could see inside it, but she could not remove the billfold so she opened it all the way...

Across the aisle about 20 feet from Mrs. C sat some of my relatives--let's call the boy Lad. He had brought to church, without his mother's knowledge, a toy snake. You know the kind--about 12 inches long, green, with a wire running through the snake permitting it to be shaped to look alive. Lad had previously shaped it to look like it was ready for attack. He now bent about one inch of the tail at a right angle.

As his mother was looking into her purse, he spun the snake faster and faster--and then, "Oops!" it happened. The snake slipped out of his hand, arched over the aisle, and fell into Mrs. C's purse just as she pulled out her billfold. She jumped up, let out a scream that woke her husband and everyone else that was sleeping, and threw her purse over her right shoulder. The purse turned over, scattering its contents over about three pews of worshippers. The ushers hesitated, and some people thought Mrs. C had had a seizure.

To be helpful, the young people started gathering up the scattered contents of the purse--and soon laughter spread through the church. The service was effectively over. The minister walked to the door to greet the people, and the organ and piano played the postlude.

I imagine that Lad ate his next two meals standing up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Good for people to know.; November 11, 2008 at 5:03 AM

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RECIPE CORNER

TUNA "SURPRISE"

I recently made Tuna Helper, following the instructions on the box and adding margine, milk, etc. Priscilla and I had generous portions for lunch. When she asked about my recipe, I pointed to the kitchen table where the box was sitting...and only then noticed the unopened can of tuna sitting next to the empty box.

Well, we enjoyed our macaroni & cheese lunch and already have the tuna on hand to make another box of Helper.

HONEY COOKIES

I watched the TV news show "The Eyes of Texas" for years. When in the mid 1980s they announced the publication of a Texas cookbook I wrote down my grandmother's honey cookie recipe. I asked Priscilla to type it, and she mailed it along with several of her personal favorites.

When the book was published Priscilla's recipes were not included but mine was, with a special mention in the cookbook's introduction. I was invited to the signing in Houston, where I got all three of the main Eyes of Texas contributors to sign the front and while standing in line got a number of contributing cooks to sign their recipe pages.

Some might consider the description "somewhat chewy" an understatement. For those who are dentally impaired, I recommend soaking a cookie in milk or hot coffee before trying to chew it. The good news is, these cookies will keep indefinitely.

Eyes of Texas Cookbook introduction:
My great-grandparents August and Caroline Weiss operated the first cotton gin operated by steam, near Salem in Washington County, Texas. They were among the first German settlers in that area. Money was scarce; however, they always had bees and native pecans...consequently, this recipe was a favorite.

1 1/2 pints honey, warmed
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
Dash of salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 cup chopped pecans or other nuts
1 tsp. baking powder
Enough flour for a very stiff dough

Mix all ingredients well. Roll dough out on a floured board and cut with a cookie cutter, or drop the dough in a greased pan and flatten with a floured glass. Bake at 325 degrees until golden brown, with edges slightly darker. These cookies will be somewhat chewy.

Ben's Bio

I was born in Rose Hill, Texas in 1925 and at age 18 drafted into the Army. After my discharge I settled in Tomball, which although a small town had more opportunities than Rose Hill. I ran my own appliance installation and repair business for many years and in 1977 accepted a position as Plant Engineer and Director of Maintenance at Tomball Regional Hospital, where I worked until retirement in the late 1980s. In the 1970s I served two years on Tomball’s City Council, was elected mayor and served for six years during which major streets were paved and guttered, utility lines were extended, and a new jail and city hall were built. After retirement from the hospital I spent time on a genealogy project that included two trips to Germany to visit relatives and look up archival records. I have also gotten into writing, chronicling my WW II experiences and authoring Growing Up in Rose Hill, published by private press and sold as a fund-raiser for the Tomball Community Museum Center, where I have served as a volunteer, trustee and Chairman. I am still involved with the Tomball hospital as a weekly volunteer and serve as General Manager of Tomball Emergency Assistance Ministries (TEAM), a church-sponsored operation that provides food and other assistance to area families. I continue to be involved in writing about my childhood and personal interests, and I still enjoy woodworking and other handyman projects. My wife and I still live in Tomball and are not far from most of our 8 surviving children and 14 grandchildren.

Ben's Book Reviews - 2010

Memories of Anne Frank by Alison Leslie Gold (1997)
Recently my wife and I watched “Diary of a Young Girl” on cable television. This was about the third time we saw the movie. Soon after, while looking at the books for sale in TEAM’s resale shop, I spotted a book of stories told by Anne’s best friend. They were neighbors and attended the same school. The friend’s name was Hannah Elizabeth Pick Goslar and she was interviewed in Jerusalem by the author, beginning in 1993. Hannah and her sister, father and grandfather were sent to a concentration camp shortly after the Franks went into hiding. First Hannah’s grandparents were sent to their death, then her father died, leaving her and her young sister. Hannah was barely alive when rescued by the American Army. She spent years in a hospital and sanatorium in Holland and then in Switzerland before moving to Israel. If you were interested in another book, movie or play about Anne Frank you will be interested in this book.

The Man Who Would Be President by Ralph de Toledano (1967)
This book gives a brief background of RFK and then a very detailed report of his years as Attorney General, his election as a senator from New York and his plans to become president, something he wanted so much “he could almost taste it.” It shows what can be accomplished when a man has unlimited resources from his family and a burning desire to fulfill his father’s ambition to have another son as president. It’s scary to think what could have happened to our nation had RFK been elected.

The Ice Master: The Doomed 1913 Voyage of the Karluk by Jennifer Niven (2000)
Vilhjalmur Stefansson organized an expedition to prove there was land under the ice at the North Pole, engaging Robert Bartlett to get a ship and crew to prove his theory. Stefansson hired the crew and found a ship, the Karluk, which was not the ship to brave the ice but was the only ship available under the limited budget. After the ship froze up in the ice and eventually sank, the crew stayed on the ship and then in tents. The scientific crew left on foot and with dog sleighs, and most reached safety in Siberia. The boat crew split up and after over a year most were rescued. The writer had access to most of the diaries kept by the boat crew, and this book is mostly about these men. Only small bits of information about the scientific group are included. Jennifer Niven, an award-winning screenwriter, did the research and write this book.

Audition: A Memoir by Barbara Walters (2008)
This lengthy book, 580 pages, takes the reader from a family background in Poland and Eastern Europe to the New England area in the present (2008). Walters spares no details of her life, her marriages, her parents and grandparents, her adopted daughter and her handicapped sister, for whom she was responsible. I only occasionally saw her on TV and had no preconceived impression of her. I thought her book was very honest and I enjoyed it, especially the sections on her contacts with all the world leaders.

Today’s Best Nonfiction (a Reader’s Digest book containing four books)

Blind Faith by Joe McGinniss, 1989
My short summary: the father of 3 sons has his wife killed for the insurance money to pay his debts.

Richard Burton by Melvin Bragg, 1987
A detailed account of Burton’s life with pictures and a diary supplied by his fourth wife Sally Burton and other living relatives.

Two Lives, One Russia by Nicholas Daniloff, 1988
Daniloff’s ancestors were prominent people in Russia before being sent to Siberia by the Czar. He is a writer and was an employee of the American Embassy when he was arrested by the KGB and accused of spying while researching for information about his ancestors. He was released when Reagan released a Russian spy.

Monday Night Mayhem by Marc Gunther and Bill Carter, 1988
Tells the story of how Monday Night Football started and the people involved for a period of about 20 years.

All four books were very interesting although I never watched Richard Burton perform and never watched Monday Night Football.

Blind Ambition, the White House Years by John Dean III, 1976
In July 1970 Dean flew out to San Clemente, Nixon’s West Coast base, to be interviewed for the job of Counsel to the President. On December 24, 1974 he was in jail.

He went along with Nixon and his “dirty tricks” until he realized that Nixon was publicly blaming him for everything. He hired an attorney and admitted to the Grand Jury and the Senate Select Committee his part in the cover-up. Had it not been for “Deep Throat,” an FBI man who remained unknown until almost 40 years later, reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward from the Washington Post, its editor Ben Bradlee, and the testimony of John Dean, Nixon might be remembered as one of our great presidents.

I had watched the daily hearings each evening on our small black & white TV and after about a week was convinced Nixon was guilty. My wife Evelyn and I had both voted for him. She died in September 1974 believing he was innocent.

Updates:
Dean had been given 5 years in prison for obstructing justice but was released at the end of the trial. Nixon resigned and the Vice President Gerald Ford was sworn in. His first act was to pardon Nixon.

Lincoln by David Herbert Donald (1995)
Little was written about Lincoln’s early years. After Lincoln’s death his law partner Herndon wrote from his memory of things that Lincoln had told him. There is little recorded about his years as a merchant, a surveyor or Indian fighter. Beginning with his “reading the law,” entering politics and serving as a circuit judge, more information was recorded and saved. Iin the back of the book the author lists 599 sources from which he took material. Several northern newspapers were gleaned. This is a very interesting book – you will learn many things you did not know.

Today’s Best Non Fiction 1989, 4 books a year (from the shelves at TEAM)

Kings of Cocaine by Guy Gugliotta and Jeff Leen: In the mid 1980s four men controlled more than 50% of the cocaine that came into the US. This is a very detailed story.

Mixed Blessings by William and Barbara Christopher: The man who played Father Mulcahy on the TV show M*A*S*H and his wife tell their experience with a second son who was retarded. After years of working with him, trying every new treatment and finally admitting they could no longer control his actions they placed him in a group home. The parents alternate in telling their experience.

The Ultra Rich by Vance Packard: The author interviews a number of wealthy persons, most of who started with nothing. Hard work is important but luck seems to be the key ingredient.

King of the Night – the Life of Johnny Carson by Laurence Leamer: Reading this book I learned much more than I ever wanted to know about Johnny Carson. In all the years he was on late-night TV I don’t think I saw the show more than 3 or 4 times, although I have seen several of his reruns. After reading the book I have realized that he was a very unhappy man and made many of the people around him unhappy.

Sea of Glory by Nathaniel Philbrick (2003), America’s Voyage of Discovery: The US Exploring Expedition, 1838-1842
Six sailing ships including a battleship and a supply ship left New York with the purpose of establishing the United States as a naval power. In 4 years they surveyed and named the Antarctic, charted and named numerous islands in the Pacific, and made accurate maps of the Pacific Northwest and many islands in the Pacific. They collected thousands of specimens that became the foundation of the Smithsonian’s scientific collection. A very interesting book.

Peter the Great by Robert K. Massie (1980)
This is a very detailed book about Peter the Great, over 900 pages with small print. The most unusual thing about Peter was that he had a natural interest in everything. He enjoyed working with his hands and always took a lathe and hand tools with him. He worked with his hands nearly every day. Peter learned shipbuilding from the Dutch and originated shipbuilding in Russia. He founded the city of St. Petersburg and built many of its early buildings. Peter fought wars with nearly every country in Europe and Asia including wars with his cousins the kings of England and Sweden. His descendant Nicholas was the last Tsar of Russia. The book includes numerous maps and pictures. Many of the names are not pronounceable but it is a very interesting book.